i'm a fuckin' rockstar

obscene_beauty @ 2007-08-22T00:46:00

2007-08-22T04:49:58Z

i still exist, you know.

afuckingwaste.livejournal.com

you won't read much anyway.

obscene_beauty @ 2006-01-18T14:26:00

2006-01-18T19:26:20Z

happy six month anniversary to me ♥ ♥ ♥

obscene_beauty @ 2005-12-27T15:29:00

2005-12-27T20:29:26Z

YOU MAY SAY I'M A DREAMER.
BUT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. ♥

obscene_beauty @ 2005-12-22T22:22:00

2005-12-23T03:22:44Z

i'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to say the word cunt.
once again, embracing. <3

CUNTFACEWHOREEEEE.

2005-12-23T03:18:56Z

CUNT SPELLED BACKWARDS
IS TNUC.
speaking of which
i hate the o.c.
oyhumbug.
yeah.
all these shows will never be dawsons creek.
NEVVVOR. <333
butt this show is kinda.. interesting, i supose.
i hate mischa barton. she's gross.
fantastic.
rob is the best at christmas.
i slept in his arms last night.
not too shabby <3
and uh, i suck at everything holidayish.
oh but i'm the best at avoiding people. THE-BEST.
i hope someone's not dead.
I AM EMBRACING THE PSYCHOPATH INSIDE OF ME.
it feels good. a holiday breakthrough!
frenchvanillacoolwhip. ill.
i don't have friends. still. i'm embracing that also.
I WANT A FLASK FOR CHRISTMAS, BABY. A FLASK FOR CHRISTMAS.
A FLASK TO DRINK THIS HOLIDAY AWAYY.
no, seriously. a flask.
a pretty one<3 an anonymous gift?! OHMUHGUDDNESS. THANKYOU.
i'll fill it with peach schnapps.
or ninety-nine... something or other.
ANYWAY. leave my indecisiveness alone freaks.
i'm gonna go clean. hahahaha. maybe.
okay, yeah. by the way, you can't steal my personality.
especially if you don't even know me.
SPEAKINGOFPSYCHOS.
damnshawtyigottago.
i don't even care if you read my lj

i hope you never
i hope you never
i hope you never forget
the tapping at your window.
<3

obscene_beauty @ 2005-12-04T22:44:00

2005-12-05T03:44:16Z

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-11-21T00:11:00

2005-11-21T05:11:08Z

incase you didn't know.
i can cry too.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-11-06T21:48:00

2005-11-07T02:48:58Z

so like i said.
here's to you, destiny.
do your thing.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-11-06T17:13:00

2005-11-06T22:12:59Z

i hope that maybe, one day
destiny will become of us.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-11-02T23:57:00

2005-11-03T04:57:49Z

every person that i'm cool with... you sweat.
face it, you're pathetic. you're not going to be me.
i don't even know why you want to be so badly..
i'm not a fucking superhero.
back off.</div>

obscene_beauty @ 2005-11-02T21:12:00

2005-11-03T02:12:20Z

sometimes i shut everyone out.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-28T16:50:00

2005-10-28T20:50:39Z

dear
george clooney.

i'm going to be alive, too
you`ll see.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-21T16:56:00

2005-10-21T20:56:49Z

i'm slow, but new co&ca +
hearing it for the first time
live = amazing
coheed blew me away, and so did the entire
las vegas experience.
everything about las vegas was completely incredible.
everything.
especially him.
i'll never forget this
i swear.
and for those of you who still don't know
because you're slow
i have a new screenname that you all
should probably IM me on. polaroidsandwine
now i'm going to continue to listen to the rest of Good Apollo...
lovelovelove
p.s.
first one in my family to go to vegas.
whatup.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-16T15:53:00

2005-10-16T19:53:04Z

you walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
your hat strategically dipped below one eye
your scarf, it was apricot
you had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
and all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
they’d be your partner, and...

you’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you
you’re so vain
i’ll bet you think this song is about you
don’t you? don’t you?

you had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
well you said that we made such a pretty pair
and that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
i had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
clouds in my coffee, and...

i had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
clouds in my coffee, and...

you're so vain...
i'll bet you think this song is about you

well I hear you went up to saratoga and your horse naturally won
then you flew your lear jet up to nova scotia
to see the total eclipse of the sun
well you’re where you should be all the time
and when you’re not you’re with
some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
wife of a close friend, and...

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-15T16:23:00

2005-10-15T20:23:01Z

it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside
i'm not one of those who can easily hide
i don't have much money but if i did
it'd buy a big house where we both could live.

if i was a sculptor. but then again, no
or a man who makes potions in the traveling show
i know it's not much but it's the best i can do
my gift is my song, and this one's for you.

and you can tell everybody this is your song
it may be quite simple but, now that it's done
i hope you don't mind, i hope you don't mind
that i put down in words
how wonderful life is now you're in the world.

sat on the roof. and i kicked off the moss
well a few of the verses, they had got me quite crossed
but the suns been quite kind while i wrote this song
its for people like you that keep it turned on

so excuse me, forgetting
but these things i do
you see i've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
anyway, the thing is. what i really mean.
yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen.

i hope you don't mind, i hope yo don't mind
that ti put down in words.
how wonderful life is now you're in the world.

i never really thought about what that song meant.
and how beautiful it was. it was so simple to me at one time
at a time when i was so simple. and i thought the world was so complex
yet then... it was so simple.
i had my innocence all along.
and it's not people that take it away from you.
it's situations. it's the way you view the world that
decides your innocence. and though people e have their effects on you
it's you that is in complete control of it.
i'm still so naive. i thought it was such a bad thing.
i thank god that i am still naive. they say ignorance is bliss.
do i agree? i'm not sure.
but i do know i'm in a new place in my life.
a place where i have not one single answer. a place filled with mostly doubt
and misunderstandings. with no wisdom, i feel free.
i feel like a newborn.
and with every glance i'm learning something new
i have no answers. i know nothing but the mere simplicity
of my very own enviorment. you could lose your soul in this room.
i have. and for once, i don't think that's so bad.
i found my father through billy joel.
i find him through something new every day.
it's almost as if he talks to me more now than ever.
maybe he'll learn more about me now... the way i am, with him.
everyday is beautiful. even when you're in a prison.
and i am.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-15T15:18:00

2005-10-15T19:18:14Z

it's hard enough just to pretend this quasi-cosmetic
relationship's immune system is automatic.
i've been so tragically fooled into believing that time is healing our wounds.
while the remedy is looking at me
looking at your pictures won't get me through this
phone calls only make things worse
permanent rescue from excuses better left unsaid
you hide your heart behind the thought of each sentence
pictures won't get me through this
phone calls only make things worse
you try to make it easier but it won't stop me
what did you say when it was already too late
what did you say, it's not what you think
what did you say when you try to speak
you suffocate
this conversation always ends in a hole
an apology is ended before it's begun
your words hung by an umbilical cord
at any given second this womb could explode
this is the love you say you want
this is the love you still don't know
this is the love you say you want
this is the love that leaves your heart broken.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-14T15:56:00

2005-10-14T19:56:24Z

i've been here before.
i should remind myself that more often.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-11T16:49:00

2005-10-11T20:49:18Z

um. i'm leaving next tuesday. i'll be back friday.

i'm going to las vegas?
yes.

with my boyfriend?
yes.

for our three month anniversary?
yes.

to see coheed & cambria?
yes.

this is kind of fucking amazing, isn't it?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
he's kind of fucking amazing, isn't he?

finally. something good is happening ♥

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-08T21:22:00

2005-10-09T01:22:54Z

i'm sorry, but has anyone seen the new KFC commerical?!!

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-06T21:02:00

2005-10-07T01:02:02Z

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Made out with someone of the opposite sex.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Had an eating disorder
Lost your virginity.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped classes.
Got in trouble for something you didn't do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the "Harry Potter" movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yardsale.
Had a lemonde stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to seaworld.
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn't have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM's/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did "spirit day" at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Your parents sent you to a shrink.
Been handcuffed.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren't home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.
Done surveys like this to pass the time. < definitely not haha =P

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-06T14:27:00

2005-10-06T18:27:33Z

today is val's birthday
i'd call her but i'm losing my voice
happy birthday beautiful. miss you.
vally ♥ ♥

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-02T15:20:00

2005-10-02T19:20:23Z

black velvet and that little boy smile
black velvet & that slow southern style ♥♥♥
a new religion that will bring you to your knees.
black velvet, if you please.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-10-02T00:44:00

2005-10-02T04:44:25Z

your past mistakes come back to haunt you.
i don't feel sorry that you're alone
it's the way you left me.
it's the way you always wanted to be.
&& now it's what you deserve

obscene_beauty @ 2005-09-27T22:31:00

2005-09-28T02:31:40Z

not so little, you & i anymore.

obscene_beauty @ 2005-09-27T05:27:00

2005-09-27T09:27:19Z

i am undeniably happy with rob ♥♥
but the best part is that rob is undeniably happy with me.
our time together is incredible. we have the most amazing nights.
after the previously discouraging events he totally turned my night around
i'm so happy that i took the chance on us. he calls me constantly
just to make sure i'm smiling. he falls asleep in my arms. he attempts
to steal my baby voice. he brings me back every night to try to find
baby cocoa<\3 he's convinced me that my birth certificate
should say roxie. so much so that i've been getting mail under that name. haha.
he appreciates my billy joel songs. he's an allstar cuddler.
he likes to dedicate song lyrics. && he notices more things
about me than i give him credit for. he constantly takes me
by surprise and that's what i love about him.
AND he bought me rainbow cookies at four am, whatup.
simply put, i'm satisfied ♥♥